Déjà vu
by glockcourage
Summary: Summary: If you love someone, it is illogical not to feel anything. SpockXUhura.


Disclaimer: Star trek 2009 and STID are not mine. They are owned by _out-of-this-world_ talented people, logic says.

—o0o—

**Déjà vu**

In his youth, he lost it when three Vulcans accused his father of betraying their race by marrying his human mother.

He pushed back when they pushed him. He lifted his fist and pummelled the boy, expunging him of his Vulcan sneer.

He got a split lip and a darkened eye but the release had compensated for any of the resulting bodily discomfort.

Years later, _again,_ he lost it when Kirk alleged that he never loved his mother.

Kirk was wrong.

He did love her. Very much. But being not able to tell her _that…_in the dark recesses of his heart, there was an illogical voice saying that might be his mother died not knowing he loved her.

His guilt had open the dam that sealed his emotions and he lost it. He used Kirk as his punching bag, freeing his rage to the world for what he just lost—his mother and the home he knew.

He was grateful he lost his control then. His father was too. It was then that the Vulcan who sired him admitted he married his human mother for the most illogical reason of all.

His father loved his mother.

Somehow his father's words brought him relief.

His mother must have died knowing she was love by those she left behind.

James T. Kirk, he was cocky and so sure of himself. He was also someone he owed his life.

So when Kirk, the captain and his friend _died_—something in him just snapped.

Looking at Nyota…almost asking her if he should, and when she gave her blessing, uttering, _"Go get him,"_ with her eyes gleaming with unshed tears, he then knew he must follow his heart. So without another logical thought, he went after Khan. Allowing his hatred to fuel his motivation to go after the murderer.

He then lifted his fist for the third time driven by emotion. Logic the farthest thing from his mind.

He would have ended killing Khan if not for her. Her voice reaching out to him, taking him out from the swirl of his emotions but even so, he still delivered one final satisfying blow on the already down man's jaw.

He had given in to emotions three times already. He had allowed himself to be human. But he appeared more Vulcan these days, able to hide the depth of his feelings.

_Only._

—o0o—

He rubbed his hands together. Back to Earth, able to put his hair down. No '_aye captain'_ to his every word.

And the best thing his best buds were with him for a night out in town. Bones, Scotty and…_Spock_. Although the way he invited the later was to blackmail Uhura to come with them.

Of course, he couldn't just ask charmingly. That wouldn't work with her then, it wouldn't work now. He appealed to her sentiments, saying that it was the least she could do for him for all the things he did for Spock _blah blah._

Naturally, she gave her word that she would come. And Spock was left with no choice but to come as well. As Uhura must had convinced her boyfriend that it was actually him that the guys wanted and that she was simply a means to that end.

—o0o—

As we went inside the crowded establishment, Nyota went ahead of us boys, a jaunty spring to her steps. I then remembered the first time I saw her inside this same bar…_young, vibrant, beautiful._

I groaned, inwardly contemplating for the _nth_ time, how that pointy eared unfeeling bastard ended up being so lucky.

Uhura went to the bar, firing our numerous orders to the bartender when a human male wearing a robe and a turban approached and sat on the vacant stool beside her. Predictably then the male specie turned towards her, a cocky smile upturning his lips.

I, _of course,_ surmised correctly that the stranger was trying to engage Uhura in a conversation.

Uhura laughed and shook her head. That should be the end of that but the sheik guy was persistent. Acting like a total scum he raised his arm which obviously he planned on putting across my female subordinate's shoulders.

It was now time to intervene but because I couldn't expect the unfeeling bangs to my left to do anything, _I _should, as the captain, intervene in behalf of the said female subordinate. So I tapped the cocky guy's shoulder.

The bastard swivelled around on his barstool to glare at me.

I grinned.

The bastard swivelled back towards the bar and continued to pester Uhura while she waited for our Budweiser beers.

I sighed, deciding that it_ was going to be ugly._

I tapped the unknown sheik's shoulder—_again_— and when he swivelled around, I immediately put my foot down on the stool so the bastard couldn't pivot back towards the bar. "There's four of us," I rasped in my most intimidating _'cupcake'_ voice, gesturing at Scotty, Bones and Spock.

The bastard stood and growled, _"So?"_

I peered beside me, checking my mates. Scotty looked panicky; Bones, exasperated and Spock, the usual with his hands behind his back, looking blank as ever. I couldn't help but snicker. There weren't four of us. Just me. Which is just lovely.

I cackled before retorting, _"Doesn't matter." _Then I allowed my fist to continue my talking.

The man was pushed down towards the stool. I heard him swore. There was nothing else to do but to gesture, _come on, _with a lopsided smile on my lips.

I was enjoying this.

He gave me a dirty look and lurched forward but I was ready. I lifted my fist and gave him a blow between his eyes then to his stomach. He was once again thrown sidewards but this time to break his fall, he dropped his hands on Uhura's breast.

I would have laughed at the sudden memory but I was overcome by instinct to look back at Spock. True enough, the cold fish just straightened his already straight demeanour. Still he didn't deem to join the fight.

_Ah hell_. This fight was easy anyway. Even Uhura was able to get in one.

I stepped closer but my opponent started to fidget with his pants pocket and then he took out something before he grabbed Uhura's arm tightly.

"Don't even think about it," he growled, warning me and even Uhura, as he opened his palm, showing us a tiny but deadly grenade.

I saw Uhura's eyes. Alarm flitted through them. The grenade was designed to elude detection and the worst part, it would blow if the holder said, _'Blow'_. Perfect for a suicidal terrorist.

Now, I wondered if the sheik bastard actually planned all this. Blow up the captain and his crew and some. I looked around. There was a lot of life forms gyrating to the music and drinking and me shouting, _'Grenade,'_ would just cause a stampede—_that is_ if they heard me.

I knew Uhura couldn't, _shouldn't_ fight the arm that hold her in its tight grip.

—o0o—

_Only. _

I could feel rage brewing in my chest. I am now familiar with the emotion. I know what it is. It should be easy _to suppress…_

But the bastard was now threatening to kill my Nyota and everyone inside the bar.

"Put it down," I heard Kirk said in a calm voice.

I nodded imperceptibly at Nyota. She knew what to do.

She suddenly put her free hand over the terrorist mouth as I lunged forward, my two digits poised on the bastard's neck. He lost his consciousness and Kirk rushed to catch the minuscule grenade as it dropped.

_"Thank God!"_ Montgomery Scott yelled in relief.

The doctor swore, _"Bloody hell!"_

As I beheld the unconscious stranger, my face was blank as ever, my Vulcan side winning.

Then Nyota embraced me, her heart thudding loudly. It dawned on me how close that was. We were too relaxed. We had put our guard down thinking that we were safe here. And with logic at my side, I was included in that thinking that we were safe.

I almost lost my Nyota.

That realization pierced through, it could not be suppressed anymore and it brought back all my fears of moments ago. I could not act illogically to _it_ then but now…

I approached the unconscious man. He was dead to the world. I knew I shouldn't but I leaned down and pulled up his collar. I then started pummelling his head.

_"Is that a delayed reaction?"_ someone asked, probably Kirk.

_"Spock,"_ Uhura shouted.

But I continued. There was a coldness suffusing my body and it just wouldn't go away.

_"Spock, I'm okay."_ Uhura held my fist, steadying it, stopping it mid blow.

Gazing into Uhura's eyes, sensing the reassurance, the truth that she was indeed safe, the coldness started to dissipate from my body, unclenching the tightness I felt. I could only nod.

So I lost my head four times.

And it was illogical to say that the numbers wouldn't go up.

I am not looking forward to the next.

—o0o—

~10 14 13AF P

A/N: As a new Star Trek fan, I just love Spock-Uhura that I wanted—_no_—I needed to write something about them…_err_ I hope this isn't too confusing.

Review?


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